And yet, when I tell my very sensible father about my very sensible plans, he cautions me to ‘think about quality of life issues’ — ie, if I’m going to be happier living on my own next year, it might be worth the money to live on my own.
I am weighing my options.
But I totally love my father.
What I need to do, immediately, is stop thinking about library science as a cop out and living at home for a year as a waste of time. I was not lying or exaggerating in my statement of purpose: I do believe the facilitation of knowledge and preservation of the past are vitally important endeavors. My career of choice is worthwhile. All that’s left, then, is to become passionate about it. I have to remember that I have a natural affinity for the work, and anyway there’s something a bit chic about being a young librarian, right?
A double-digit percentage of my first couple years of diaryland archives must be composed of self-indulgent rants about my family life. Finally I’ve found a way to remain firmly myself whether at school, home, or any unexplored territory. It will not kill my independent spirit to pass one more year here. The location is only a matter of affinity, not self-preservation. I don’t need the city; I just really, deeply want it.
There: a passion and a goal. That should sustain me.
I spent several hours this morning reading all the fine print for both Kent and Pitt that I should have months ago. The figures and missed opportunities sent me into a fit of self-pity, but a shower later and I think the choice is fairly clear. $40,000 vs. $10,000. Unless the FAFSA turns up a miracle (and it seems to me the FAFSA doesn’t mean much for a grad student), it’s Kent, and I’m okay with that.
I mean, I’ve been planning out three semesters of schedules. You must know I cannot remain sullen while planning course schedules.
So I’ve resolved. No regrets, and no lamentations over Pittsburgh. It’s a fine path; I’ll learn to love it.
