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[=CG=] & **hawk**

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

[=CG=] & **hawk**

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

[=CG=] & **hawk**

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

[=CG=] & **hawk**

  • Permalink for '__CG_______hawk__/2006/09/04/Wah_wah__Creed'

    Wah-wah, Creed

    Fetched: September 4th, 2006, 9:21pm PDT
    You know when you are really old? When people start saying "that's so and so, he's ___ years young!". That has got to STING. When I get old enough that people say that, I'm going to start coming up with some crazy habits, so instead of saying it, they just say like "that's An (more)

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/09/04/for_a_minute_there__i_lost_myself'

    for a minute there, i lost myself

    Fetched: September 4th, 2006, 9:21pm PDT
    On four hours' sleep, I am so exhausted that I can barely keep myself functioning vertically, but I cannot waste this day in sleep.

    The temperature cannot be more than sixty-two or sixty-three degrees, the sky is broken by expanses of hurricane-inspired clouds and the sound the trees mak (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/09/04/Your_heart_won__039_t_heal_right_if_you_keep_tearing_out_the_sutures.'

    Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures.

    Fetched: September 4th, 2006, 9:21pm PDT
    I just spent my last $1.98 on a
    milquetoast cup of coffee
    and a string cheese.
    I start to wonder if maybe I'm not just
    constantly trying to recreate a world
    shaded in orange light and red brick.

    Now if you'll excuse me.. (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/09/04/I_saved_a_little_fuzzy_caterpillar_on_the_way_home.'

    I saved a little fuzzy caterpillar on the way home.

    Fetched: September 4th, 2006, 9:21pm PDT
    Newsflash: Lani is restless.

    Everyone okay? Can I get anyone a glass of water or some anxiety medication or anything?

    Today was my second day at my new job--my first scheduled, full day and while I laughed and joked with my officemates and while I got a few things done and y&#0 (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/25/All_will_be_well__even_after_all_the_promises_you__039_ve_broken_to_yourself.'

    All will be well, even after all the promises you've broken to yourself.

    Fetched: August 25th, 2006, 3:28pm PDT
    [@ 12:09pm, on paper]

    When I started out of the drive of the third administrative build I'd been in today, I thought to start this with "I think what I need more than anything right now is a Boots." I meant that I was hungry for food and starved for natural light and that I wanted a trian (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/23/lutetium_supplements_combined_with_megadoses_of_partially_hydrogenated_Vitamin_E_'

    lutetium supplements combined with megadoses of partially hydrogenated Vitamin E!

    Fetched: August 23rd, 2006, 4:38am PDT
    I'm reminded that I promised an update, didn't I? Sometimes I'm bad with the follow-through, you understand.

    I got an email yesterday afternoon, an urgent one, asking me to call right away the guy who turned me down for the job I wanted a month ago, as he had an interesting (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/23/I__039_m_thinking_blog__pictures__book_reviews_for_sure._Other_things_as_I_go_along.'

    I'm thinking blog, pictures, book reviews for sure. Other things as I go along.

    Fetched: August 23rd, 2006, 4:38am PDT
    Informal poll: If I started up a real blog with a domain name and actual webspace, would you still read me? Do you consider it a hassle to check in on sites with RSS feeds rather than clicking a buddylist link? I'm tossing some ideas around is why.

    Weigh in and send some suggesti (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/23/I__039_m_not_sure_I__039_m_good_at_living_in_a_world_where_that_kind_of_thing_is_possible.'

    I'm not sure I'm good at living in a world where that kind of thing is possible.

    Fetched: August 23rd, 2006, 4:38am PDT
    So here's the thing.

    I've been absolutely torturing myself for a little while now. My stomach is in a constant knot, my head throbs, joints ache, my eyes hurt, I can't sleep or get up in the morning, I am incredibly short with people who absolutely don't deserve it, I am o (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/23/Once_more__I_suppose.'

    Once more, I suppose.

    Fetched: August 23rd, 2006, 4:38am PDT
    Because I'm back to writing Lauren more than I'm writing here, I figured it more honest to transcribe than to recall. You don't get anything privileged, just y'know, things I've needed to say.

    I'm sitting here staring out at the sun glittering madl (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/14/I_think_that_I__039_m_just_tired.'

    I think that I'm just tired.

    Fetched: August 14th, 2006, 7:08pm PDT
    Unemployment has started to take a legitimate toll on my states of psychological and physical health. Yay.

    I can't remember at time in my life wherein I was so consciously aware of external limitations and internal fractures and frays. I've become a big ball of loose wires, I have. (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/there__039_s_a_major__quick_set_of_corrections_i_have_to_make'

    there's a major, quick set of corrections i have to make

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    It seems, quite curiously, as if my life seems to be coming together exactly as I'd have it, if very temporarily. Busy days are all the rage in this small town.

    Lauren and I mean to have Wednesday Night Coffee each week and only once have we actually done it. We usually get together once (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/how_good__she_thought__to_go_now__tonight_'

    how good, she thought, to go now, tonight!

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    It's possibly because of my renewed and vaguely ethereal obsession with Scott Fitzgerald and it may be the current and seemingly constant influx of this particular kind of imagery, but my entire world seems to flow along a parallel plane with that of the 1920s American aristocrat and the 1950s (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/wondered_how_tomorrow_could_ever_follow_today'

    wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    When I got up this morning, I did immediately what I've always known I should never do: I started the day with the New York Times before breakfast. There is really no good that can come from assaulting one's brain with this kind of information before one is fully awake enough to process it (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/I_can__039_t_help_but_notice_your_weary_head.'

    I can't help but notice your weary head.

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    The night has grown almost musty in its humidity as I lay my blanket haphazardly down on the same porch that once launched me off on my own for the first time--to college, to become this version of myself; to Europe, to discover what it was to both starve and feast emotionally; to my first attempt a (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/the_stillness_of_a_weekday_nonhour'

    the stillness of a weekday nonhour

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    The sky can't quite decide if it's ready to storm or if it's complacent enough to just be, at the moment, and while I have many of the same thoughts myself, it doesn't seem to do much good to waver.

    For the past couple of weeks, I've posted a different photo of either (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/nothing_changes___039_cept_the_red_lights'

    nothing changes 'cept the red lights

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    Again, for reasons passing true understanding, I met with six or eight girls from high school tonight. Nothing was remarkable about the meeting--new stories about people I've never met and anecdotes about people I've long forgotten--but to sit outside, mosquito-bitten and goosebumped, smoo (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/Some_snow_would_be_nice.'

    Some snow would be nice.

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    Most often, when people tell me to "take care," I generally take it as little more than a standard goodbye. "You too!" I chirp cheerily, meaning it of course, yet more interested in jutting off to my next cup of coffee than in ensuring the fruition of my instant wish. Every once in a great while, th (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/you_will_admit_that_if_it_was_not_life_it_was_magnificent'

    you will admit that if it was not life it was magnificent

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    When we walked back up to the apartment last night after a near perfect day, an unexpected cry, and a pleasant beer, I told Lauren that I felt as if I should write about the day, but wondered what there was to say.

    Very easily, I could list the things about the day that made it one of my new (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/you_know_that_it_could_be_so_simple'

    you know that it could be so simple

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    A snapshot.

    Driving about 52 down a local two lane, singing my heart out along with Robert Plant's garbled nonsense, drumming valiantly on my steering wheel, having spent a modest $50 on things I really needed (birthday cards for friends, organic dark chocolate, a bud vase), absolutely r (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/08/12/the_drama_of_a_spoon'

    the drama of a spoon

    Fetched: August 12th, 2006, 1:37am PDT
    I can't seem to wrap my mind entirely around this limbo, yet I do know for certain that it masks itself in bouts of depression and acceptance. Yet another to report:

    I had a phone interview on Monday, my first. A few days prior to the call, I was absolutely stoked--this was my first step (more)

[=CG=] & **hawk**

  • Permalink for '__CG_______hawk__/2006/07/20/Burger_King_and_little_people'

    Burger King and little people

    Fetched: July 20th, 2006, 1:56am PDT
    You know who has a good thing going? That midget actor. You know the one, there are only like 2 or 3. The one I mean is the main one, the big boss, the one who was in Seinfeld once in that episode where Kramer is in a soap opera. That guy gets like EVERY little person part. What is really impres (more)
  • Permalink for '__CG_______hawk__/2006/07/15/the_family_circus__sex_scientists'

    the family circus, sex scientists

    Fetched: July 15th, 2006, 9:21pm PDT
    With the current political and social climate in America, and with so many people standing up and letting their voices be heard, I'm sure this isn't a particularily original thought, but The Family Circus sucks hard. I read it today, and this was the joke: One kid is sitting on a chair and (more)

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/Intricacies_of_the_word___039_my.__039_'

    Intricacies of the word 'my.'

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    In much, much different ways than they did a year and a half ago, love and possession are again flittering through my consciousness. The differences between the two and the way they feed into, bleed into one another, at the basic beginning of the thought.

    It's more a conversation I wish (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/I_can__039_t_find_the_words_to_say_and_I_don__039_t_know_why.'

    I can't find the words to say and I don't know why.

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    On a Saturday in smalltown Ohio, leaves succumb reluctantly to the very slight breeze as if they had a choice, neighbors mow their lawns to messy if manicured perfection, ants carry scraps and birds carry crumbs, cars doddle and little kids walk by with spoils of war (a turtle from the creek or mayb (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/_Baby__you_and_me_are_just_passing_through._The_difference_is_that_I_know_it_and_you_don__039_t._'

    "Baby, you and me are just passing through. The difference is that I know it and you don't."

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    I'm, let's face it, a little bit of a dreamer. I indulge the occasional intricate fantasy, I'm sure it's no secret. As much as I'm content to let certain things happen as they will, with others, I'm increasingly impatient.

    For as long as I can recall, I have had (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/She_said__I_think_I__039_ll_go_to_Boston._'

    She said "I think I'll go to Boston."

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    Having decided that forcing myself to rethink my dreams has been wasteful and relatively damaging, I've begun to dredge up my old ones, my favorite ones, my imperative ones, as a way to possibly get me through this next year of limbo.

    This may, I realize, be absolutely foolish if not pos (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/Note_to_self__simply.'

    Note to self, simply.

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    Note: There's nothing quite like someone checking in on you to make sure you're okay before they sleep.

    For ten minutes, I was coughing and sneezing like a kitten in a dust cloud (where did that image come from?) and my Dad poked his head in my doorway, just to check. :)

    I (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/Predictable.'

    Predictable.

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    I'm a details kind of kid--magic in the minutiae, that sort of thing. I tend to micro-analyze, taking stock of every little word and every little pause, silences mean so much and even simple mistakes can tell an epic story. Which, y'know, is a part of my personality that I like, that I (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/Lest_we_forget.'

    Lest we forget.

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    For all of my frazzled wondering, my frenzied "what if"s, I tend to briefly neglect the rest of the life going on around me.

    I neglected Franzen tonight for a passive flipping of the channels, stopping on a Gospel music special for my Mom. Granted, I am quite sentimental toward a good hymn, bu (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/Do_you_believe_in_what_you_want__63_'

    Do you believe in what you want?

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    Lauren once wrote a New Years' kind of entry, a letter to herself in twenty years. I did the same once upon a time, saying many of the same things, not surprisingly. In both of those entries, we refused to be the people who get up in the morning, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed, g (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/28/the_ripening_of_local_apples_in_a_paper_bag'

    the ripening of local apples in a paper bag

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    I don't like Summer. I'm not a Summer person, I don't like the beach or the heat or the shorts and bright colors, sunblock and strappy sandals, I don't like the haze and the way the world seems to move without variation for three, four long months. It's never been very me, s (more)

[=CG=] & **hawk**

  • Permalink for '__CG_______hawk__/2006/06/28/band_names'

    band names

    Fetched: June 28th, 2006, 10:17am PDT
    I went to see The Bottle Rockets last night, and the opening act, Bobby Bare Jr. couldn't make it past the border. Was his dad name-checked by Johnny Fever on an episode of WKRP once? I am pretty sure there was some Bobby Bare reference on a good episode of that show once.

    Anyhow, so (more)

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/06/I_know_I_used__akimbo__incorrectly._I_like_it_that_way__however.'

    I know I used "akimbo" incorrectly. I like it that way, however.

    Fetched: June 6th, 2006, 10:57am PDT
    The weekend was absolutely perfect and absolutely what I needed, though now that I've slept a couple of hours and had a sufficient bit of cantaloupe, my mind has begun to swirl again in a kind of waning frenzy.

    I want to be the kind of person who tells stories, see. In twenty years, I wa (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/05/More_or_less.'

    More or less.

    Fetched: June 5th, 2006, 12:14am PDT
    How to briefly, colorfully, faithfully capture the very flavor of a night? I used to not be so self-conscious about the way these words would come to the surface, but lately they've been reluctant to comply. Simply let them manifest...

    I left in plenty of time, I did. Yet still, yes, (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/02/the_madness_of_an_autumn_prairie_cold_front_coming_through'

    the madness of an autumn prairie cold front coming through

    Fetched: June 2nd, 2006, 12:48am PDT
    As I fumbled briefly for my key before unlocking the door like I've done millions of times before, I couldn't help but flash to a kind of daydreamish fantasy that may or may not ever come into fruition. I do this sometimes.

    I was carrying two grocery bags and a sheet of stamps (40 (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/06/02/I_don__039_t_know_what_it_is__but_you__039_ve_got_to_do_it.'

    I don't know what it is, but you've got to do it.

    Fetched: June 2nd, 2006, 12:48am PDT
    While I say over and over that I can't write, that I've nothing running through my veins with which to construct a decent sentence, there have been a few things I've been woefully neglecting over the past week that probably deserve a quick jot.

    Last weekend, Josh met Lauren and (more)

[=CG=] & **hawk**

  • Permalink for '__CG_______hawk__/2006/05/27/LOST_spoiler'

    LOST spoiler

    Fetched: May 27th, 2006, 4:25am PDT
    I don't want to spoil the season finale of LOST for anyone who hasn't seen it yet (it just ended on the east coast, and some people probably taped it), but this is the big revelation: It's real! LOST is real, it's not a work of fiction, all that stuff really happened!! All the fa (more)

[=•REVOLUTION HACKERS =•]

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/23/Go_or_go_ahead_and_just_try_me.'

    Go or go ahead and just try me.

    Fetched: May 23rd, 2006, 2:47pm PDT
    I feel quite like I'm on the cusp of the Next Big Thing in my life, on the dock waiting for whatever vessel will inevitably sail me on to whatever's next beneath the stars, though I realize pretty viscerally that I've recently relinquished my right to whatever pseudo-passive participa (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/23/the_absence_that_we_are'

    the absence that we are

    Fetched: May 23rd, 2006, 2:47pm PDT
    In sooth I know not why I am so sad:
    It wearies me; you say it wearies you;
    But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
    What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
    I am to learn;
    And such a wantwit sadness makes of me
    That I have much ado to kno (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/15/She_said__I_think_I__039_ll_go_to_Boston.._'

    She said "I think I'll go to Boston.."

    Fetched: May 15th, 2006, 7:24pm PDT
    If I..let's say that hypothetically...okay, I have this friend, say, and she's smart and fun and driven and whatnot and she's just finished her MA program after spending the past nine full months complaining about it at each step along the way: the hoops she's had to jump through (more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/15/Shameless__honestly.'

    Shameless, honestly.

    Fetched: May 15th, 2006, 7:24pm PDT
    I'm swamped and angsty and looking at another all-nighter, but I'm feeling a little livejournal-ey, so hey, what say you go and pick some adjectives? more)
  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/15/_'

    -

    Fetched: May 15th, 2006, 7:24pm PDT
    To those of you reading me from Crawley, Sunnyvale, and Riyadh, can I get a note or a guestbook entry or something? You're reading reasonably consistently and I love that, but I'm not nearly anonymous enough to be alright with the fact that you are.

    Thanks. :) (more)

  • Permalink for '_____REVOLUTION_HACKERS______/2006/05/15/Next__you__039_re_dazzled_by_the_beauty_of_it_all.'

    Next, you're dazzled by the beauty of it all.

    Fetched: May 15th, 2006, 7:24pm PDT
    It's truly amazing what kind of real life one can create for oneself when one has a Saturday absolutely devoid of academic and professional obligations. I feel human for the first time in months.

    Thursday night and into Friday morning and even Friday afternoon, I was awake. The whole time (more)